::I Feel the Love...riiiiiiiight::
Don't you hate that feeling like you aren't good enough or that maybe people are ashamed of you? I absolutely hate that. I've been feeling like that for a large part of my life and I swear it doesn't matter what I do, I'll never escape the people who do that to me. They're so easy to forget what I do for them and it really sucks because I think I'm trying to improve as a person. I mean they can't even have the decency to give me good solid reasons to why I may not be up to par...or whatever. I mean so what if I get my feelings hurt a little? I'd rather that they tell me what's up instead of acting like I'm nothing more than some little annoyance. All I ask for is a little freaking honesty and I swear that's just too much to ask for from some people. As for people who act like I'm some type of disgrace I don't even know where to start with that one. I know that I don't always say the right thing and I can at least apologize for it. I guess I'm just such an embarassment that I shouldn't even be mentioned sometimes. Or if I am mentioned, then it's just like a, "She's OK". I mean...gee! Thanks for acting like I'm important to your life by really trying to minimalize the role I play in it. If you don't want to deal with me then don't. I'd rather that someone be like, "I don't want you in my life" instead of "Hey, I care...not really...but stick around anyway so I can step on you". I'll never get away from these people partly because I'm too stupid to catch it early enough. I let feelings of friendship or loyalty develop for some people which really shouldn't have. The other reasons I'd rather not discuss because they hit TOO close to home if you can catch my drift. I do have those who can really appreciate me and I'm very thankful. I don't want it to seem like I'm forgetting the more positive aspects of my life. I love those who support me and really have stood by my side. It just sucks that in my daily life that I live with people who seem to think the worst of me, and have thought the worst of me for as far back as when I was a young child. It's really getting to me because it's like I can see when they have valid points about my behavior or what not, but when I try to point it out to them it's like I'm being a disrespector. I don't know what I'm talking about. I'm just a stupid female. I'm just being a hot head. So, fine. I'm all those things you think I am. Just don't get hurt when you hear the truth from someone who really just wants to hurt you instead of help you.
Random Blurb: Fantasy is what people want, but reality is what they need.
posted by Rochelle @ 8:39:00 AM
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