::Where in the World is Carmen San Diego?::
I can't find my sanity. Help me. Just kidding...kind of. Have you guys ever been so anxious about stuff that it just totally throws you off? You can't focus, can't sleep, you're just a mess? That sums up how I've been feeling lately. I have this helpless feeling because I can't control some of the stuff that's around me and it's driving me CRAZY!!! It's like you know what you want to do with yourself, but it doesn't work because you can't control people or scenarios and in return you can't fulfill your objectives. Well, that's not worded right, it's not so much that I can't control people, but more like it's not any easier because you can't agree or see eye to eye. Like when you're trying to do something because you're trying to improve a situation, but someone else tells you not to do it because they think you're making a bad mistake. They think you're trying to throw your life away, but really you're trying to do what you see is best at the current time. I'm in that situation right now. I'm trying to do what I think is best for not only my sake, but for people I really care for and they're telling me, "Don't do it. If you do, you're throwing away your life. You're not thinking right." I just don't know what else to do for the situation because I really don't want people to suffer and by doing what I think is right, I believe that I can at least alleviate some stress. Well that's what I think I'm doing. I mean if this doesn't make sense I'm sorry. It's more like I'm trying to just let it out and still maintain some integrity by not giving out too many details because I respect the other people involved. Those who know...I know you get where I'm coming from. I'm just getting eaten up by this because I'm torn between doing what I feel I should and doing what they're telling me to do. I totally respect what they think, but at the same time I don't see how staying on the path I'm on will make things better. By doing that, I'll only just maintain the current situation. I want to CHANGE it, not stay stagnant. Now thinking about all of this is messing me up. I see valid points on both sides of this situation, but I want to lean towards the actions that will get more results. Because of all this thinking, I'm so anxious about everything. Just thinking about this and that and stuff that has nothing to do with this or that. And I know I'm rambling like a moron...Well I'll just leave it at that. I'm driving myself crazy enough as it is, it just sucks that I can't help it. I don't want to over analyze or whatever, but I just can't stop. I mean I can't really tell who's right...or who's more right. GRRR!!! OK, I'm going. Later peoples!
Random Blurb: Insane in the membrane...insane in the BRAIN!!! (Man that's such an old Cypress Hill song!!!)
posted by Rochelle @ 3:40:00 PM
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