::Tip of the Week::
Well, I don't want to disappoint all my lovely peoples who love my weekly posts. So, yeah, here's my tip for the week. My tip for today is for anyone who is in a field where you have to market to a group or groups of people. This tip is great because it can basically work in any career field. Now, here it goes: Know your target audience. OK, so some of you are like what the hell? Well, most things in our world are now products. Those products, in order to be successful have to have some type of target audience that they cater to, right? The principle is, the better you know your target audience, the better you can make a product that will have appeal and longevity. I really don't feel like getting into a big old lecture about it all, so if you're interested in trying to find out more about what I mean, just go ahead and either shout me out, or just drop me a little e-mail. I'm starting to get tired here at work, and my shift is almost over. WOOHOO. Time to go to bed soon!!! Alrite, take care all and have a good night!!!
Random Blurb: Money is EVIL...and so nice at the same time.
::While I'm Waiting...::
Well I'm finally on my official schedule for work. I hope it doesn't change for a loooong time. I'm tired of having to re-adjust all the time. My grandma is back in town and she's in full effect. She's so funny and full of life. I'm glad that she's here again. I've missed her while she was away. We just got back from Henry's. Got our organic produce on and stuff. She wants to go out again so I'm just waiting for her to do whatever it is she wants to do, then we'll be out the door again. I just thought I'd take this time to start up weekly posts again. I'm only going to do 3 weekly posts now: Song of the Week, Tip of the Week, and Funny of the Week. So here's my choice for song of the week!
El Estuche by Los Aterciopelados
No es un mandamiento ser la diva del momento
(wow)Para que trabajar por un cuerpo escultural,
A caso deseas sentir en ti todos los ojos,
Y desencadenar silbidos al pasar...
Mira la escencia, no las apariencias (x2)
El cuerpo es sólo un estuche y los ojos la ventana,
De nuestra alma aprisionada (oye)
Mira la esencia, no las apariencias
Que todo entra por los ojos dicen lo superficiales,
Lo que hay adentro es lo que vale
Siento en el aire, un aroma espiritual mensajeros alados
Intentando aterrizar, si abres el estuche lo que debes encontrar
Es una joya que te deslumbrará
(hay pero)
Mira la esencia, no las apariencias (x2)
90-60-90, suman docientos cuarenta,
Cifras que no hay que tener en cuenta
(oye)Mira la esencia, no las apariencias
No te dejes medir, no te dejes confundir alúsate hazte valer
alúsate hazte valer (x5)
Random Blurb: Musíca Latina es muy diversidad y yo gustaría mas informacíon para este tipo de arte.
::I Get to See My Favorite Person!::
My grandma is coming back to San Diego on Tuesday. I'm really happy that she's going to be back here again. I know that it's only been at most 3 months, but she's my favorite person in the world. She's taught me lots of things directly and indirectly. She's given me a sense of spirituality and compassion which has really helped to mold me into the person that I am today. I could never repay her for all the things that she has blessed me with, all I can do it be extremely appreciative. I know that she can sometimes be offensive, she has said some things that I wouldn't exactly call nice. My parents think her age is affecting what she says in the sense that she sometimes neglects to think before she speaks. I'll admit that she has hurt my feelings during her last visit, but it's all good. She's still my favorite person. She's given me way more that I can accouint for, she's been the motherly figure in my life, and she does really love me unconditionally. She just ain't afraid to say what she thinks, which is how I can be sometimes too. Can't be at her if I do the same thing ya know? Well I'm just trying to kill time at work, and I'm trying to deal with the anticipation that I'm feeling. I really do love my grandma lots, and anyone who knows me hears about it enough. So now all I can do is clean the house, and wait around for her to get in. That's about all I really have to talk about right now. Until next time my friends, please take care.
Random Blurb: Absence does make the heart grow fonder.
::A Dissertation on the Velvet Teddy Bear::
Well, I was thinking this all along. I knew that Ruben would beat Clay down. Woohoo. This is pretty cool, unlike last year's competition. I did not want Kelly to win, but the person who I did want to win is actually doing things that I consider to be more credit worthy. (Just so you know, I'm talking about Tamyra Gray). Well anyway, I knew all along that Ruben would be victorious, just because he has the best overall charisma, appeal, and recording voice. Don't get me wrong, but Clay is a really talented guy. But me and Brenna already had this discussion even before Simon opened his yap. We think he should just go and do some big thangs on broadway, or like Brentoot brought up yesterday be a Christian music artist. Those are two fields that he could dominate. Whatever, but what do I really know any how? I just like to suggest things, it doesn't necessarily mean I'm right. But yeah I'm just trying to kill some time while I wait for my shift to end. BLAH BLAH. Okie well I think I can survive for another 20 minutes. I want to go home and watch my Cartoon Network Adult Swim. Then I need to get some sleep because I gotta drag my carcass back to work by 9 am. Sheesh, I'm so going to be tired. ACK!!! Ok, I'll save the little manic episode for when I get home and can freak out like there was no tomorrow. I best get going. Alright then folks, have a good night! Peace and God Bless.
Random Blurb: I'm working four much right now...= \.
::Sit, Yap, Stare, Repeat...::
I'm just chillin' like a villain right now. Hanging out waiting for a call to drop. Oops there goes one. Ok, back. Well at about 8:30 I'm moving my seat to go and hang out with the other graveyard peepos. Man, weirdness. But yeah...it's all gravy. I can actually say that I don't mind work anymore. People don't seem as mean as they did when I was only doing messaging. I really think with this change in my job that I can actually bring back my old weekly stuff. I have more time to keep up with it all now. I think that I'll probably be able to put that into effect once I'm completely finished with training. Which probably won't be for another week or so. Well I'm not sure, things keep changing so much that I have a hard time keeping up sometimes. We're always like oh, there's been a change so now you have to go and do this or that. It keeps things interesting. Calls are more fun now, I actually get to really help people instead of just playing messenger. It's pretty cool and amazing how fast my 8 hour shift goes compared to how my 4 hour messaging shift would totally drag. But yeah, enough of my yacking away. Sheesh I better get back to being productive. Later Folks and please take care.
Random Blurb: I hope Ruben wins for American Idol. Clay to to Broadway!!!
::Sitting On the Dock of the Bay...::
Well I'm at work. This is really cool. Wow. Getting transferred was one of the better things to happen to me lately. I had a follow up appointment with Dr. Park. So I have to test out this paxil stuff for another 2 months, then I'll see what's next. I'm still hurting over some things. My mom's birthday was yesterday and after we came home from dinner I asked her if she would go with me to see my counselor. She didn't want to. That just bites. That really hurt my feelings that she could flat out reject a request like that. I don't even know how she feels about me. It's like she doesn't care. It's always been like that so I don't even know if I should even be hurt by that anymore. I just want her to just pretend she cares. It may be a lie if she did that, but at least I wouldn't be this emotionally pained. I mean I seriously don't even know if she does love me. She hasn't said that to me in years. I really do want to resolve all our issues, but all this wanting doesn't mean anything. I've asked that she go with me to see my Dr or my counselor, I've told her how much I'd appreciate it.
NOTHING!!! She seriously either doesn't like me or just lacks motherly instincts. I don't know which it could be. Whatever. Doing this at work was a bad idea. I just set myself up to be in a bad mood until my shift is over at 8:30. Whatever. Time to cut. Later peeps.
Random Blurb: Emotions wreak havoc on the mental.
::Working Hard for the Money::
Well, I've done training for 2 days already and things are going pretty alright. There's a lot of stuff that I have to let sink in, but it's all good. I'm getting the hang of it everytime. The only thing that sucks is the fact that the time I do training is way different from the time that I'd be working my regular shift. Training is that 9-5 type shit, but my real shift would be from 2:30-11 at night, and to top that off I start double jacking tomorrow at 7am.
BLAH!!! The good thing is I'll be done by 3:30 in the afternoon, so I can still take my nap before I go out with my two best friends in the whole entire world. We're going to dinner then we're all going to have a good ass time watching the Matrix Reloaded. I just want to get through work tomorrow, because I'll at least have the weekend off. Probably the last weekend I'll ever have off for a looooooong time. Once I start my real shift I'll be off on Wednesday and Thursday...it's weird working for a company that has people there 24/7, but at the same time it's kind of cool as hell. It just sucks that I had to sacrifice my weekly counseling session for this week. I'm really trying to make some progress and I hate feeling like I'm going to forget some very important things I want to discuss. I have a follow-up appointment on Monday, before I do more double jacking, which would be 2:30-11, then back to training on Tuesday. Then Wednesday I'll be double jacking some more, then back to training on Thursday. Oooh, maybe I can get next weekend off again, and then start my real schedule on Monday. Jeezus, I don't know how this is all going to work out. It's all good though. I'm getting more bank...meaning I'm getting closer to moving out.
Random Blurb: Working hard for the money...
::Work or Play...There's no Difference::
Well, I got a new job. It's with the same company I'm with now, but it pays way better. I start training on Wednesday. I'll finally be able to move out, I've wanted to move out forever. It's just hard to do that when you feel obligated to help people you really shouldn't have to help. I don't know. Things are kinda weird for me. I mean there's just so much crap that I want to resolve, but at the same time I'm totally fucking fed up with it all and I don't even want to deal with it anymore. This going in a huge ass circle thing needs to quit. I'm seriously trying to break the cycle, it sucks that I'm trying but the other people who I need to help me break it just ignore me. I seriously want to get my life going where I think the right path should be, I just let things hold me back. I really do want to focus on me, but I have these feelings of obligation and guilt that make it really hard. I'm not even sure if my emotions are correctly placed. I'm stressed out and anxious again. Man, ok...time to go have a manic episode. Laters.
Random Blurb: It's time to fight my inner demons and heal old scars.
::My Other Blog::
Hey all, I know that I've been saying that I'll start up my other blog for like a while. It's not that I'm lagging...well that's partially it...but I'd like to showcase work other than the ones that I've written. So please, if anyone has anything to share, email me! I'd really appreciate some involvement from some of you out there. I'd like to make my other blog a creative outlet for those of you who write. I do hope that some of you will take up this opportunity to publish some of your
ORIGINAL writings and get full credit for it. With luck, I'll have my other blog up and running before the end of this month. I'm trying to work on getting the design just so. Call me a perfectionist or whatever but yeah! Okie doke peeps, that's about all I got to say right about now. I do have some other things I'd really like to say but it's not a good time. I really need to think some things out before I bust out some long dissertation. Well that's it. Good night. It's about that time I go pop a paxil and get knocked the fuck out. Laters.
Random Blurb: We have freedom of speech, too bad more people don't use it.
::As Mother's Day Approaches...::
The day for mom's is swiftly upon us. Just two more days and then it's that time of year for mom's to get showered with cards, candy, flowers, and other various types of trinkets and gifts. Good for them, well those deserving of it. Some women deserve a special day more than others. Sad as it is, not all women live up to the motherly standards that idealism has set the bar at. I love my mom, don't get it twisted. It's just that there are many things that she's done, said, and acted out that don't seem to be motherly at all. I'm sure all mom's may have pissed off their kids in some way, but many do it out of concern and love. There are others who are only mothers because they gave birth, but the caring and nurturing wasn't necessarily part of that package. I have a mother who is kind of in between. Sometimes she can really act as if she cares about the well being of her kids and making sure that they do the right things, but on the flipside of that, I wonder if it's for show. Living with me isn't the easiest thing for anyone to handle, I can be very opinionated and down right bitchy. I know that, and I try to work on it on the daily. It's just that there are so many things between me and my mother that aren't resolved. I'd like a little closure on all the issues that I have with her. I don't like to say that I can't get along with my mom most of the time. I hate the fact that sometimes she can seem right out selfish. The thing that hurts me the most about our relationship is that she has said some of the most hurtful things to me that I could imagine. I've had very dark times in my life and I was so ashamed to let anyone know about them. For those who knew me in high school during sophomore year, I used to wear a lot of long sleeved shirts or I always seemed to have sprained my wrist. Well, there was a good reason for that. I'm not going to be ashamed of it anymore, I was suicidal. I cut myself and I hid it. The scars are barely visible now, but my mom has said things that will scar me for many years to come. It's not all her fault, I couldn't live my life if I tried to say it was. It's just that during that time in my life she played a major role in my self-esteem, or lack thereof. Right now, it seems the cycle is repeating. I've been trying to get help because I don't want to be ashamed of my feelings anymore. I've done that for too many years of my life. It's just hard to come to grips with all the emotional and mental anguish when one of the people who I need to understand me the most doesn't even want to come with me to one lousy fucking counseling session. For the past 4 weeks it's been, "I'm too tired, you know I work graveyard shift", "Why don't you just ask your dad to go with you?", "I have an appointment", or "Not today, maybe next week". I need a mother right now. I can't put off having a mother for much longer. I really want to repair the damage I feel has come between me and my mother, but it doesn't even seem to be of any consequence to her. It's so hard seeing her day to day and not even wanting to talk to her and feeling resent or disappointment. I just want her to hear me out...but she won't even let me do that. I love my mother, but as harsh as this may be for some people, she doesn't deserve to celebrate mother's day. She can't be there for me when I need her the most, and I've voiced it to her, and pleaded with her, and done everything I could to let her know how important I feel it is to me. It's just a repeating cycle of I'll care for you today, but not tomorrow. I want to break that cycle and have a real mother. I guess we all have something to dream about then, don't we?
Random Blurb: Loving someone is one thing, but to get along with them is another.
::Lessons in Life::
They say that the best way to learn is through experience. Whether or not this is true, I'd rather not venture into the whole complexity of the human mind's capability to learn and function. I finally have been able to see my experiences for what they are, well at least I think I have. To add them up, I really felt as though certain people have the ability to make me feel like less of a person than what I really am. I am worth more than what some people give me credit for, they just don't want to see it that way. I'm competent and capable. I'm intelligent and responsible. I try to be a good friend, daughter, sister, and person. Now, this listing is a combination of what people who love me have said, and what I think about myself. I've never really had high self-esteem, but I always knew deep down that I tried to be a good person. I know I have a temper and that can get me into confrontations, but I try to hear out the other side and try to work things out. As to those who make me feel like less of a person, I know I have my flaws. I don't mind that you point them out to me, just don't attack me. I try to be selfless and put others first, but it's about time that I started taking care of myself better. I'd love to be nurturing all the time and always supportive to others, but the truth is some people see it only as weakness or an opportunity to take advantage. Self-improvement seemed almost selfish to me, but I've spent years worrying about people who don't care that I worry. It's not easy for me to break the habit of caring about these people so much, it's just that I need to care about myself
MORE. They stress me so much that at a couple of points in my life I was ready to break. Those who really know me, and know about what I'm going through now can understand why. I have to do what is necessary to survive and for those few friends who heard the recent news about my situation were surprised, a little disappointed, but they were still supportive. To you all, I thank you so much. I have another session of counseling Friday and I think I'm ready to open up more. I'm feeling more confident in myself and I want to find solutions to my emotional troubles. It's going to be a long path to take, I'm sure that it will be a rough ride, but I have to do this for my own sake. I still love the people who stress me and worry me, that won't change. No matter how much bullshit we go through we have the strongest bond in the world, we're family. It's just that now, we all have to get our lives back in order. I wish things could be for the better, but at this moment they're not. I'm working on myself and I can only pray that those I love will do the same. Don't feel bad for me because I'm on medication and have weekly counseling. I'm embracing the fact that I can get help and become a better person. I'll be more in tune with my own thoughts and feelings and by doing that I hope that I can help others too.
Random Blurb: The only thing I'm ashamed of is being ashamed to ask for help.
::I'm FREAKIN' Perfect...According to This::
-Perfect- You're the perfect girlfriend. Which
means you're rare or that you cheated :P You're
the kind of chick that can hang out with your
boyfriend's friends and be silly. You don't
care about presents or about going to fancy
placed. Hell, just hang out. You're just happy
being around your boyfriend.
What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
Wow...so to all those guys who passed me by, EAT SHIT. LOL!!! You totally missed out on one hella cool chick!!! No, I'm just kidding. But to my Mr. Right who may be out there, you best make sure that you appreciate me. If not, you'll only regret it...BOOYAH!
Random Blurb: Man, that paxil can be one fun ass drug to be on. Uh-oh...sleep time. Paxil can be sneaky too. Good night.
