::"I Miss You Too"::
I couldn't sleep last night (like that's new), and I was at home listening to music at about 3 or so in the morning. I hopped on AIM to see who was on, and there was my ex. I sent him an IM just to say, "Hey". We were chatting for a bit, about nothing in particular. We were just catching up on what's been going on. I asked him about finals, he asked me about how I was coping with my current situation. It was just two friends, who genuinely care about each other having a nice conversation. It was about 4 AM when he asked if he could call. He said he just wanted to hear my voice before he went to sleep, so I saw no harm and told him to go ahead. We were talking about more random stuff. Then all of a sudden he told me, "I miss you". I was a little surprised that it came out. I'm not going to deny that I have feelings for him. I miss him too. It's obvious that I still love him. I didn't know what to say. I didn't want our situation to get even more complicated. And I told him exactly that. I would like for things to be different, but it's not possible. We both understand that. I guess it was one of those things he just had to express. I'm glad he did. I honestly would wonder what he was thinking whenever we'd talk or visit with one another. I told him that I really missed having his company, but that's something I have to deal with. I said good night and listened to more music. I couldn't help but replay "I miss you" in my head. It was comforting to hear that he still cared. *sigh* It would've been 5 years on January 20. Years...Wow.
Now, I'm just feeling a little nostalgic. There has been a lot of pain involved, but that couldn't overshadow the powerful connection we had or the positives in our relationship. But much like the title of that one Roots album, Things Fall Apart. Maybe one day there will be a reconciliation. When and if it happens, I'll take it for what it is. We agreed to not put our lives on hold, it's time to move on. We at least have our friendship, that's really more than I could ask for. I'm really not bitter towards him at all, and that feels so good. I wish all break ups could be that way.
Random Blurb: I'm not as lonely, but I can't help but miss that constant companion I found in "him".
posted by Rochelle @ 7:16:00 PM
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