::He Can Do WHAT?!?::
My younger brother, Ferd, showed me this link. It's CRAZY!!! All I could say was, "Whoa! Dude! He's like...WHOA!" Yeah, I was overcome with how stupid fresh this was. That's pretty dope. I mean, shoot! I give people props for being able to beatbox period. That's not an easy task you know? Now in addition to being able to beatbox with a harmonica in hand, that's just NUTS! So yeah, enough of my bullshittin'! Peep the link. I guarantee entertainment.
Beatboxing With A Harmonica
Random Blurb: I always thought beatboxing was cool. I always thought being able to wail on a harmonica was cool. Now add the two and you just have mounds of cool to go around!
::What's New, Winnie the Pooh?::
Well my friends, this week has been most awesome and quite eventful. Brenna totally took over the stage at Open Mic. I'm so proud of her! Both songs she played were originals, and I must say I like them very much. Like I said, the girl has got a knack for some good music making. I was a little disappointed that I had to drop one of my classes this semester. I was really looking forward to taking the course. It's an Asian Studies course on Filipino Communities. Gargh...but family will always come first. I just wish the class was a little more convenient to take. That's the downside to once a week classes, I suppose. I'll get over that! This means I'll actually have more time to spend with my sister on my days off. That will be a most welcomed change.
I posted the most recent piece that LX sent me. I lagged on that a little bit. So you guys can check that out on the Kung Fu Kitten. Speaking of LX! That guy is one major dork. We were at work one day, and I remember he got all mad at me for something
I sent to his e-mail. I didn't remember sending him jack shit, so I was like what the hell are you getting all worked up over? What the frick are you talking about? So he comes over to where I was sitting in the call center and brings up his e-mail account. He shows me the e-mail and was like, "What the fuck is that?" I just laughed at him, and he was all what's so funny? This freaking guy was getting mad because he got a spam e-mail but the sender's name is Rochelle. I'm like look crackhead! That's spam, ya dum dum! That was good for a few laughs. He felt
STUPID just as he should have. Sheesh, I'm like the last person in the world to send anyone spam. Silly rabbit. Umm...yeah I don't really have anything else to talk about. I might try to write something for the Kitten again, but that is yet to be seen. I'll most definitely keep you all posted. Cíao!
Oooh! OK, this part I'm adding to this post because like I was sitting here at work and looking at shoes.
I LOVE SHOES!!! I'm pretty picky, so when I can find shoes that are cool, cute, and comfy then I go ape shit! Shoes! I can't get enough. *drooling* I found 3 pairs of shoes that are too cool for school! *mops up puddle of drool* Yeah! Check 'em out!
OMG! Those are just adorable. They look so damned comfy too! I love flats. They're nice to my feet. Heels really suck if you have flat feet. But these...oh so nice!
Can you believe it?!?! Those are a pair of Adidas! I've always had a thing for Adidas, but dude! Galing galing na naman! So scrumptious I actually interjected tagalog into this post!
Yeah, baby! I like this brand of shoes. They don't use laces and stuff. No hassels! I dunno, I love shoes with velcro. It takes me back to those Payless Shoe wearing days, when I used to have a pair of My Little Ponies velcro sneaks. *sigh* Memories!
Random Blurb: I was good today! No sappy dweeb things at all! *pats self on the back*
::How Sweet It Is::
I've been caught up in the most wonderful whirlwind of emotions. I'm happy and I mean it. The affection of one person can make such a huge difference in one's quality of life. I'm truly blessed! It's crazy when I think about it all. If it wasn't for this strange attraction I have for him, I would have just let him pass me by. Thankfully the effort to have a relationship, whether it was just a friendship or otherwise all paid off. The months we've known each other have helped to nourish a positive and very loving union. The laughs, comfortable silences, intriguing conversation, and tender moments have all given me a wider and more optimistic take on the world. It's amazing how the time drags when we're apart, but zooms on by when we're together. It's so easy to enjoy the simple things like staring up at the sky, sharing a good meal, and sitting hand in hand while listening to good music. He's been a major inspiration to me. My recent writings have been the product of the feelings and thoughts he's been able to stir.
So basically, this is a post to let you all know that I have a new piece on the Kung Fu Kitten. You can all mosey on over to take a gander. I do have some stories I could share. Funny stories I might add. There's the one about how I was able to get my little brother to pants my mom, the one about how I paid my little brother to drink vinegar, the one where me and my little brother were having a rubber band fight and he was screaming like a girl, there's the one about my little sister and the duck standing on a turtle shaped rock. I don't know which to pick. They're all entertaining in their own ways. Hmm...dammit. That's something I'll have to ponder over.
Random Blurb: Yeah, it's about time I talked about something other than being a big sappy dweeb. =P
::Dancing on A Breeze::
It's a wonderful thing to feel safe and loved. It's even better to be able to lower your defenses because you know that you can place all the trust you have in another person. It's like floating in the air, with a gust of wind gently guiding you on your travels to a place of serenity. The skies are a brilliant blue and dotted with cotton candy clouds. You sway from side to side, at the will of the wind, never feeling threatened. All thoughts are peaceful, happy, and vivid.
Ahaha, dammit. Sorry, but I watched the new, "Peter Pan" movie. I think I'm stuck in Neverland. Not that I'm saying it's a bad thing, but jeezus! Someone has truly made me feel quite happy and secure. I can't help but get all sappy and mushy about it. Just looking at this person evokes a thousand feelings, thoughts, and desires. Everything
IS falling into place. It's so simple, but makes no kind of sense. I've never known anything to be this wonderful. I'm thankful for every last bit of it. OK, so now we all know how much of a girlie girl I can be. Oh good grief Charlie Brown! Umm...yeah. That's all I should say before Brenna makes fun of me. You know you want to Tootster!
Random Blurb: Oh gosh, some people will never let me live this down. I know it...*bracing for impact*
::MUNCHKIN!!!::
Here my friends, I present to you my baby sister. Rita Marie is the coolest six year old on the planet, and I'm not saying that only because we're related. She's a smart little girl with this almost prodigial understanding of the world. Well, I don't mean to make her sound like some kind of wonder kid, but she's pretty awesome. I mean she knows the meanings of idiom, metaphor, and simile. She's shy with you at first, but once she's familiar with people she lets her sense of humor shine. I was recently on the phone with someone when I was helping her with breakfast, and was told that she sounds adorable. She is! I won't deny that one! She's one of the very few people who can always put me in a good mood. Rita is a lot like me, and it makes it so easy to have a good relationship with her. I don't get to hang out with my sister a whole lot, but when I do it's good times. We live in the same house and barely see each other because of my schedule. Haha, this is the kid who told me to get a new job because I couldn't go trick or treating with her this past Halloween. I like talking about this girl because she does something tripped out everyday. She's a spaz in the making. I just hope that our relationship stays this good, someone needs to give her guidance and I'm trying my best. Haha, I just hope I'm not messing up her head. Well yeah, just make note:
Anyone who messes with my sister will have to answer to me! Rochie don't play that! FOOL!
Random Blurb: We are family, I got my little sister with me. Heck yeah!
::I Try To Find The Words::
I'm so distracted, I feel so awkward, and my mind happens to drift back to the same thing over and over again. This is the first time I've ever experienced anything so overpowering. At this point, I still don't fully understand the situation or where it may lead. There's no nagging in the deep recesses of my brain, instead there's a quiet acceptance. Everything is new to me, I have nothing to reference, and no precedents to guide me. And even with all this, I feel fine. That is most definitely a nice change. All in all, I find myself flailing helplessly when I try to express what is going on. Words fail horribly. They could never appropriately convey the beautiful and profound way I'm affected. It's all so breath taking and all I can say about it is, "Wow".
Random Blurb: There's a new post on the Kitten. That was the best I could come up with to even begin to explain...stuff...=)
::All I Have To Say::
Well, all I have to say for now is that there are two more posts on the Kitten. So I hope you check those out. LX was so kind to contribute another one of his pieces and we have a newbie to the Kung Fu! Way to go Elmer! So yeah, peep those and enjoy. I love when people share. Sharing means caring! Speaking of which...in my case sharing seems to mean embarassment as well. LOL...umm...yeah. I'll just leave it at that. Whoa...with the blushing...ok...well then. So until the next time I actually have something to blog about, I'd like for my silent and vocal audiences to take care.
Random Blurb: Well I could talk about how they changed up my routine at work again, but that might just be a big boring pile of crap. Hmm...I need new material...it's time to do something stupid again. =)
::Rock On Wit' Yo' Bad Self!::
Open Mic yesterday was fun! Brenna wrote herself a new song, which I really liked. You guys can peep out her lyrics for that on the Kung Fu Kitten. If she keeps this pace up, she'll have enough for a 13 track CD by the end of the year.
But let me go off on a side note:
*Brenna I didn't bother posting the other song you sent me because I don't know if you still want to make changes to it. I'll just wait until you feel you have a final product.*
So yeah, updates...I started school again on Monday. So far, things look really good. I like my classes. Now, since I've taken so many anthro classes (which is my minor), I'm considering just staying in school a little longer to do a double major. We'll see about that. My appetite has been all funky, and I think it's because of all the re-adjusting to my new schedule. I've been able to get a little more sleep, and I'm very grateful for that. Things are OK and I couldn't ask for more. So yeah, tonight I'll be going to a dance concert at UCSD. It's a requirement for my Ballroom dance class, but it's still something that I would've done on my own anyway. In a way I kind of regret not sticking with ballet, tap, or hula. All good though. That's about all I have for now. Maybe I'll have something a little more interesting later. We'll see if I can incite some comments like in my last post. That was nothing short of entertaining.
Random Blurb: I do have something to share, but I want to wait until everything plays out. I bet some of you are dying to find out what. Mwahaha.
::I'm Like A Bird, I'll Only Fly Away::
There's something so inspiring about watching a good sunrise or sunset. The colors are rich and vibrant. The sky just takes on a life of it's own. I'm one of those people who loves to just stare up at the sky. Watch the cloud formations float by, watch birds glide through the air, and watch the stars as they sparkle like diamonds against black velvet. I'm in love with what's up there. I can't get enough of the bright blue of a summer's day and the brilliant radiance of the golden sun. The sight I love most is looking towards the coast, beyond the reaches of land, to where the sea meets the sky in a gentle embrace. The two shades of blue seem to share a passionate kiss which softly allows them to intertwine. My infatuation with the heavens and the ocean rivals all the feelings of "love" I've ever experienced. *sigh* I'm a hopeless romantic. It's a facet of my personality that doesn't shine through very often, but when it does I can surprise even myself. I hope that one day I can share a sight so magnificent with someone who can make my heart melt the same way. I'd let myself become overwhelmed with a sense of rapture, thanking the Lord for giving me something so blessed. I can imagine letting the moment wash over me, filling all my senses with an almost orgasmic quality. Then slowly I'd let it go. To know that feeling will have been enough. For now, I can only dream of something that magical and help myself to remember why I have this longing.
Random Blurb: I want to remember the colors of that day. The sky sang to me, and I felt closer to God.
::A Ship Lost In The Raging Sea::
I've been feeling a little empty, still a little lonely. I have the greatest friends, truly they're wonderful people. I enjoy the time spent with each of them. My appreciation could never be expressed in a way that could possibly let them know just how much. It's very comforting to know that if I choose, I can bring any of my feelings to their attention and they'll listen and help me through. There's just a lot of things that I just can't say to them, for whatever reason. I'm trying very hard to work through all of my emotions and finding their causes, but more importantly I'm looking for some much needed solutions. I saw my counselor yesterday, and we spent the session taking care of sorting out all the major feelings I have at this point. It's just so difficult to put it all into words. There's so much frustration, resentment, longing, fear, and anger among all the other things. The feeling that is most prevalent is flat out exhaustion. I'm so tired of feeling these negative emotions. I'm finding it harder to confront some very painful aspects of my life. I can conversate about it, and maintain my composure with out a problem. I'm at the point where that IS very much part of who I am, and molded me into the person before you. I can talk about it, but each time I simply give facts. It's hard to divulge the intimate details of abuse and the feelings that came with each experience. I mean really, how do you tell someone the horrors of being viewed as an old man's play thing and a teenager's punching bag? How do you even begin to explain the animosity which stemmed from years of neglect? I don't know, but I wish I did. I'm just trying to take each day for what it is. Dealing with whatever comes my way to the best of my ability. I'd like to open up more. I just can't find the words to say how I'm being eaten away. I can only express so much before I feel an icy clamp tighten around my throat as I choke on my own thoughts. Could it be trust issues? Could it be I'm scared to confront my own dark past? I want to know, for my own sake. More importantly, I want to know so I can stop making others worry about my well-being. I feel selfish for not being able to share what's really on my mind when someone asks. I hate how I'm isolating myself from the people who care the most. I just don't know what to do right now. A little guidance would make all the difference in the world.
Random Blurb: God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
::A Dark Shade of Blue and Undertones of Brilliant Gold::
I've been a little down and frustrated lately. It's really hard to explain why, because it's a long list of little things that acted as catalysts to bring me to this point. To sum everything up, I feel as though I behave in a way that allows certain people to perceive me in a negative light. These are people that I care about very deeply, and I don't want us to drift. In recent conversations, we've tried to deal with some issues that we felt were important. I was completely honest and spoke only my true feelings. I held nothing back and tried to keep my words as tactful as possible, but unfortunately it didn't seem appreciated. I tried not to take it personally, but then some responses they offered were said with malicious intent. Now, I'm feeling the freeze of a cold shoulder and an icy stare. I've tried to apologize and to initiate more conversation and have yet to get results. So now, I can only wait. This is proving to be the most difficult part. It's hard to maintain a level of optimism when I happen to live with one of these people, and they won't even speak to me when I pass them in our hallway. I tell myself and friends that the most you can do is try. Just do your part to work towards resolution. I'm trying my damnedest to stick to my words, but the pain at times is excruciating. I only want my relationships with people to improve. I don't mean to hurt, I only have good intentions, especially because these are people I love. *sigh* I pray that we'll be fine in the long run.
In mass today, the subject that came up was to focus on strengthening the relationships you have with family and friends. The words struck a chord. I started praying so hard so that I could find the inner strength to endure. And my grandma's friends noticed. It's so weird how they have an almost supernatural intuitiveness to the emotions of others. It was touching that they tried so hard to comfort me. Nanay Feli said something that I really took to heart,
"No matter what, I can see you try to be a good person. None of us are without our flaws. Embrace yourself as I and many others embrace you. I see good in your heart, you should see it too."It was something I could hear my own Lola Paz say. It helped ease the heartache and I'm very thankful. I can't wait until I get to talk to my grandma tomorrow. Now, all I can do is hope for the best and prepare for the worst. I know that my faith will see me through. It always has, even when I was blinded by my own stubborness or foolishness.
Random Blurb: I'm positively blessed to be surrounded by such kind people. I can't show enough appreciation.
::New Work Posted On The Kitten::
So I got an e-mail from LX today. It was a poem he had written so I posted it. I'm still working on something right now. I'm not satisfied with it, so there's still a lot of tweaking necessary. It'll be done soon, I think. So yeah. That's all really.
::New Year's Resolutions::
I personally don't make resolutions for each year. Don't get me wrong, the
idea behind it is very noble. However, the practicality isn't so great. Really, by the end of the year most people either didn't follow through with their resolutions or don't even remember what they said they would do. Then we have the smaller percentage of people who make some lame-easy-to-accomplish-resolution. Where's the challenge in that? Doesn't that defeat the purpose of making a resolution? I'm on a neverending mission to find out who I really am and becoming more familiar with that person. Along the way I know that I'll be making some changes, and hopefully they'll only be for the better. I know how hard it is to be comfortable with yourself, and the insecurities can sometimes get the best of you. If you overly worry about how others will perceive you to be, you'll miss so much in life. So I guess what I'm basically saying is if I really had to make a resolution, it would be to continue on my quest to find out who the real Rochelle is. I may be resistant or reluctant to accept what I come across, but I want to try and find peace of mind with the things I can't change. I want the courage to change the things I can. But most importantly I would like the wisdom to be able to tell the difference. So for those of you who made any resolutions I do pray that they're successful, but if not don't be too hard on yourself. Also, I do hope that your resolutions include to take care of yourself mentally, physically, and emotionally.
Random Blurb: I'm just going to continue on with my mantra of, "Do what you gotta do".
::Get Up On The Floor::
Happy New Year to all!!! *sigh* I feel great. I got to get my boogie on for New Year's and I'm satisfied. First Night at Embarcadero was freaking cool. Brentoot and I shook our tail feathers, got princess crowns, and listened to great music. Met up with Minh and his friend Noah. Hung out, kinda did our own things. Watched the fireworks. We all cut from the event then Brenna and I got some grub at the usual spot, Dennys. Good stuff. I made the night worth it for me, I know that sounds a little selfish but someone told me that I have the tendency to put others before myself. I needed to take care of making myself feel better. I'm feeling pretty euphoric. Honestly, this was the best New Year's Eve for me. So now, I'm pumped full of cough syrup and I'll be toddling off to bed. I'm going to be a bum all day after I wake up. I owe it to myself since I'll be going to work on Friday. So again, only the best wishes for the New Year/Year of the Monkey. May you be blessed with joy, new found wisdom, and prosperity.
Random Blurb: I could stand to shake my ass a little bit more before going back to work, who's with me?
