::I Lost Something On April 8, 2004::
It started all with pain on Wednesday night. Ended with surgery Thursday afternoon. Now, I'm one ovary and fallopian tube short of what God gave me. I'm left with pain that makes laughing a bitch, and makes me quite uncomfortable all my waking and sleeping hours. Really, I don't think the magnitude of what happened has hit me. I can tell you what happened, but ask me how I feel and the reply you get is, "I'm OK. Glad it wasn't worse." Honestly I don't know how I really feel. I'm just happy that I was visited by good friends, that my family pulled through for me, and that my significant other has proven to me that he's my angel. I'm thankful that everything worked out as well as it possibly could have, and that the doctors and nurses were so attentive and explained everything to me. I felt comfortable putting my trust in their knowledge and skill with this sort of thing. It's weird. I didn't cry when they told me what they would have to do, but now I feel like maybe I should? I don't know. I'm still trying to reflect on the situation. It was a difficult task to take in what the doctors were saying when I had been up for most of the night going from room to room. Test after test, scan after scan. I felt so bad that Minh wasn't with me for everything. I know that he went through so many hours of wondering what was going on, and the poor boy ended up exhausted. I know that it wasn't easy for people in my life to see me laying in a hospital bed, hooked up to an IV, and relieving myself through a catheter. I'm beginning to wonder if it was worse to see me in that condition, than to have been the one experiencing it. There are a lot of things running through my head, which I want to sort out. So I guess this is a good start. In no way do I feel like, "half of a woman" as one person suggested. I can still function normally. It's not like I'll need hormone treatments, I'll still have a period, and I can still have kids. I'm just trying to soak it all in. Physically, I know I'll be fine. Emotionally, I know I'll be fine. But I'm still wondering what my real emotions are, the sooner I can identify them, the sooner I can deal if need be.
Random Blurb: I am certain of one feeling, I'm even more thankful for the people in my life.
posted by Rochelle @ 11:58:00 AM
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